


no phun intended

by taxycab



Category: Bandom, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: AU, Abuse, Alternate Universe, Bottom!Tyler, Child Abuse, Fluff, M/M, Praise Kink, Sexual Tension, Smut, Top!Josh, also tyler is basically at the age to move out but its still abuse, its a bit rough in the first chapter i promise the whole thing isn't that violent, joshler - Freeform, not exactly daddy kink but i mean, theres some undertone????, things advance the more i write aka its a good mix of sin and not-sin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-19
Updated: 2016-08-21
Packaged: 2018-07-25 08:32:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7525741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taxycab/pseuds/taxycab
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tyler is a bit of an odd kid.<br/>Maybe it stems from his step-dad's abuse, maybe its the loneliness, but he doesn't really realize these things aren't completely normal.<br/>Josh works at the mall a few blocks from Tyler's, but it seems unlikely the musically gifted boys should ever properly meet, let alone the preposterous notion of falling in love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Taken By Sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW OKAY this account changed a lot,, um okay so my mind is bursting with ideas on what I'm doing with this, so unlike the last couple fics, I've got plenty of plans :^)
> 
> DISCLAIMER: Theres a lot of abusive stuff in this chapter, so its not exactly happy, please be careful. You can skip to the end of the chapter for notes to read the (sorta) important plot advancement without the violence!

Tyler jolted awake at the sound of his bedroom door creaking open. Bleary eyed, he slowly focused on the form in the doorway.

“Dad?”

“Yeah, uh, come get dinner, okay?” The message was blunt. Tyler sighed.

“Mm.” Tyler twisted a little, attempting to stretch his cramped muscles. Falling asleep in a desk chair should be impossible, but Tyler was an odd kid. Apparently. As soon as his dad had left and closed the door behind him, he ran to the mirror. He reached a hand up to his tender cheek and grazed his fingers over a sore patch. Tyler had come to accept these blooming injuries that appeared quite often, all over his body. He learned at a young age that fighting back equaled a darker color beneath his skin, accompanied by a higher level of pain. It was a fact of life. If his father was angry, he’d just have to sit and take it. Besides, it would all be over soon anyway.

Tyler grimaced a bit at the new mark, and felt an odd sense of relief at the fact he had just completed school. No more stares. 

“Seriously?” The color was bright red, and he gasped quietly as his hand shivered, bumping his face with just slightly more force than originally intended.

“Stop that!” Tyler hissed at his own hand, grasping at his wrist. The movement in his face even stung a little, and he realized it was due to the dried tears crusted on his face.

“Gross,” he mumbled, scrubbing his cheeks with his t-shirt.

“Dinner, Ty!” The voice on the other side of the wall made him jump once again. He backed up until the backs of his knees collided with the chair, and he sat, slumping in the seat. Maybe if he didn't acknowledge their existence… maybe, just maybe, he’d be left alone. His gaze fell on the desk in front of him, focusing on the pocket knife balancing in between the mouse and keyboard.

“Idiot,” he whispered, cringing slightly.

Tyler had almost summoned enough courage to make an appearance in the kitchen, but right when he touched the door handle, his blood froze. Something in the kitchen had shattered.

“No..no no no no.. oh no…” Tyler slowly backed up from the door, heart hammering in his small chest. The sound of glass breaking never meant anything good. It meant his father was angry. It meant Tyler had done something wrong. It meant he was about to have his lights go out.

At least he’d be asleep.

He twisted around, eyeing the window. Could he make it? If he did succeed in running away, he'd have nothing..his dad would just find him again and beat him senseless and drag him back home. So it was either get hurt now, get it over with, or run and get hurt even worse. Tyler turned back to the door in front of him, breath coming fast now. He scrambled to the closet door and was about to shut himself inside when the bedroom door banged open. Tyler yelled in fear at the sudden noise and coughed as he was dragged backwards by his t-shirt collar. He was spun around and put face to face with his father. He turned his cheek, holding up his hands.

“I invite you. To sit. At the table. With me for a nice dinner. And _this?_ This is how you thank me?” The man was sputtering with fury, which made Tyler shrink twice his already tiny size.

“Please.. I’m sorry, I- I was almost going to leave my room-“

“Learn. To. _**Respect**_.” He was screaming at Tyler, punctuating his words with slaps. He grabbed Tyler’s hair and yanked his head back, exposing his throat. Tyler’s feet slipped against the floor and he tripped backwards, causing all his weight to be momentarily held up by the fistful of hair. He whimpered and shut his eyes. At least he’d be asleep.

“Are you gonna cry? Oh, you're gonna _fucking_ cry now, are you? _Are you?_ ”

Tyler shook his head furiously, stifling another yelp.

“You’re a worthless piece of shit, you are. I’m ashamed. I have a pitiful, whiny, weak excuse of a son. You sit around all day and do nothing but play your _stupid_ little guitar-”

“Ukulele,” Tyler corrected softly, then instantly regretted. Pure rage was the only thing Tyler saw in his father’s eyes before his body was slammed against the side of the bed. His knees buckled underneath him and he was caught halfway on the bed with his legs hanging off the end.

“You don't say a single _goddamn_ word. That. Is _not_ how this works. I speak. You **learn**.” Tyler would have felt better if he was screaming at him again. The ice in his voice was petrifying. His vision was beginning to swim and he only just realized that he couldn't breathe very well due to the fact that he had been sobbing uncontrollably.

Tyler’s father kept spitting horrid, awful words in his face. Tyler was only able to hear a few f slurs and other related terms through the buzzing in his head. He didn't even register the hand around his throat until lack of oxygen washed over him and panic began to settle in.

“I could break you,” his voice came back into focus as he snarled, “I could snap your tiny frail, worthless body in half, right now, if I wanted.”

Tyler mouthed wordlessly, feebly pulling at the hand depriving him of air. Please, just let it end. Let the light go out. Let it go out. It would be over.… Darkness was dotting the edge of his vision now, his eyelids were being dragged down like lead, the crushing weight was getting less and less important…

_At least I'll be asleep._

****

The first thing Tyler felt was the bedsheets. Then he felt the bruises. He groaned quietly and twisted to read the clock. Half-past noon.

Shit.

Tyler bolted out of bed. His dad would be so pissed. Panic began to settle in and he paced around for a solid minute, trying to figure out what he would do. He had to figure out a way to trick his dad into believing he had been doing chores all morning, or something.

As he paused, he realized there was silence outside his room. 

_That’s unusual…_

Gathering courage, he slowly opened his door. Still silence. No radio, no TV, no newspaper rustles, no glass shattering. He walked to the end of the hall, inhaled, then peered around the corner. The sight that met his eyes was…eerie. The living room was empty. The bay windows were wide open, letting in the chilling breeze of winter. Watery sunlight filtered through the screens. Everything was a mess.

Tyler shivered and wrapped his arms around himself. He crossed the room quickly, shutting the windows, hoping to god his father wouldn't want a cold living room. He quickly searched the other rooms of the house, and each to his surprise and confusion, were empty. As Tyler made his way back to the living room, the realization hit him. His father had actually gone out for the first time in almost a month. Probably to buy more alcohol, but nevertheless, the conclusion remained the same.

He was alone.

Tyler sprinted to his room. His chance had come, he would take it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey so if you skipped cause violence isn't your thing, thats cool! All you missed was Tyler had a bad time with his step-dad, and in the morning he woke to find his father had left the house for a bit, so Tyler decided to "take his chance."
> 
> I know I'm rusty ,,,haven't written anything in months, actually yikes,, I really hope it was decent enough anyway!! I'm sure this will all get better the more I warm up to my keyboard again!


	2. I Want To Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> its meet time woo
> 
> Josh's POV I guess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for kudos on the last chapter!! Hope this one is alright, it was fun to write!

“Hey, Josh, can you take the register for a bit?”

Josh peeked his head around the corner and nodded at his coworker, “sure.” He steered himself through the tiny doorway and faced the customer. Josh glanced at her up and down.  
Soccer mom, one kid, a boy. Young, probably 5 or 6.

This called for the ‘friendly cashier who Loved His Job’ look. “Hi, what can I get you guys?” Josh leaned lightly on the counter in front of him for good measure.

“Oh! Hello, I was just..” The woman gestured to a few of the cookie cakes below. “My son is having a birthday in a few days.”

Josh grinned widely. “Awesome! Whats your name, buddy?” He leaned over the counter to peer down at the kid, head rested on one hand. Technique was key when dealing with these people.

The boy quickly glanced between Josh and his mother, who nudged him with a smile. “Uh, Dylan,” he said to his shoes. Wow, a dad joke opportunity and it was only 11:30. This must be Josh’s lucky day.

“Well its very nice to meet you, Uh Dylan.” Josh grinned again. Dylan looked up at him and a moment later returned a hesitant smile. His gaze traveled upwards until-

“Woah, mom, his hair looks like cotton candy!” Dylan gasped and tugged on his mother’s shirt. “Can my cake have cotton candy on it?”

Josh laughed. His mom looked embarrassed. “Dylan, don’t be silly. Sorry,” she added to Josh, who smiled and waved it off. “Why don't we just get you a…” But Josh wasn't listening anymore. Because holymotherofgod there was an angel in the food court.

Josh slowly straightened, peering over Soccer Mom’s shoulder. There he was. Tall and a little lanky, wearing a loose grey t-shirt paired with torn black skinny jeans, a thin flannel shirt tied carelessly around his waist, slipping off his left hip a bit. His dark hair was sticking up all over the place; it reminded Josh of duck fluff. Angel Guy’s perfect nose sloped right above his perfect lips accompanied by the most perfect faintest goatee Josh had ever seen. He clutched a bag labeled ‘Forever 21’ in his right hand. And holyjesus don't even get Josh started on his hands..they were attached to his arms which displayed various scattered tattoos, all in the right places and-

“Sir?”

Josh snapped back to attention, realizing with horror his mouth had fallen open a little. Shit. He swallowed, stealing one last glance at Angel Guy. He had paused in the middle of the food court, as if to scout out a place to sit.

“Uh, yes ma’am, I’m sorry I think I might have-“ he coughed lightly, “left my keys in the car,” he offered a weak smile, hoping he hadn't just missed something important. She didn't say anything. Josh felt his face heat up. “Haha, guess its just, yknow, one of _those_ days, ha,” he tried, hoping the panic wasn't showing in his eyes. Why did he have to sound like a complete idiot every time he opened his mouth? Why?

She finally smiled a little back at him, and Josh let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. She laughed awkwardly. He laughed awkwardly. Everything was fine. Thankfully it didn't take terribly long for Josh to warm back up to them, and they placed an order for Dylan’s 6th birthday. How exciting.

Josh, however, felt much more excited than a kid ordering a 6th birthday cake from Great American Cookies. As soon as the pair had left, he went straight to the back room. He backed up until he was leaning against the wall, and put a hand over his mouth. He exhaled sharply, then giggled like a girl with a crush on the playground.

Holy _shit._

This guy had to be what, 18,19? He looked so unbelievably young. Josh weighed his options. He could either go out there right now and confess his love, or he could never see Angel Guy again. Josh inhaled. Okay, this was getting too intense. If he approached Angel Guy in this state, he'd scare away the most beautiful human being he’d ever laid eyes on. But if he didn't say hello now, he’d probably never see that gorgeous duck-fluff again. Its not like he’d ever seen him here before.

_Okay, Josh, calm down. Be chill._

What if he’s not gay?

_Then he’s bi. Theres no way a guy with duck fluff, ripped skinny jeans and flannel tied around his waist isn't at least the tiniest bit gay._

“Matt, I’m taking my lunch break!” Josh called, waited for the slightly muffled “ ‘Kay”, and took off his apron. He may have bumped a little too hard into the swinging door to get out, but Josh didn't notice. Surveying the food court for Angel Guy, he made sure to pretend he was looking for a place to eat. No need to creep anyone out. Was Sonic okay? Everyone loves Panda Express, right? Hmm.. Taco Bell however… where the hell did he go?

Josh attempted to casually turn around, checking the space behind him to make sure Angel Guy hadn’t somehow escaped his sweep. For just a moment, Josh considered if this was going to far. Maybe he really was a complete creep. He should probably give up. This was crazy-

“Oh-“

Josh’s stomach dropped into his gut at the same time his heart leapt in his throat. It felt like a vacuum in his chest, combined with about a billion butterflies.

“Oh my god-“

“I am _so_ sorry-“

“Jesus, no, I’m- oh my god did I do that, oh- let me help- oh geez-“

Angel Guy was sprawled in a heap at Josh’s feet and Josh was 100% sure the other could hear his heart hammering in his chest. His ears were burning so badly someone should probably get a fire extinguisher or Josh might just set himself on fire anyway. He extended a hand to Angel Guy, babbling nonsense like “I wasn't looking where I was going,” and “wow this is a whole new level of my awkwardness,” and “I am honestly so incredibly sorry, this is all my fault,” and _**did I happen to mention how absolutely stunning you are because wow I think I really want to buy you lunch holy shit you look beautiful when you're surprised please let me surprise you again ohmygod.**_

Angel Guy simply looked at Josh’s hand as if he had never seen one before. Josh waited a moment longer, and before he felt things would get really awkward, he decided to reach a little further and touch his wrist, picking up his hand gently. To Josh’s surprise, Angel Guy flinched a little at first, but then Josh must have imagined it because _holyfucktheywereholdinghands_ and then it was over. Angel Guy was back on his feet and picked up the ‘Forever 21’ bag, murmuring apologies left and right.

Josh was watching him speed-walk away when he realized what was happening. “Wait!” Angel Guy stopped in his tracks and glanced over his shoulder. Josh swore he could melt when they made eye-contact.

“Uhm, listen,” he began, his voice not carrying very well, “that was honestly one of the stupidest things I've done all day.. um, could I maybe get you lunch? Least I can do..” He trailed off at the look on Angel Guy’s face. He looked… shocked.

_Shit, that definitely sounds like i’m asking him out, oh god, no oh no…fuck why do I screw everything up?_

“I mean, like, maybe I can get you a, um, drink? Or something, I mean I don't know, we’re here.. in the food court… with..food,” Josh wanted to pole vault into the sun. “I mean, so.. like a cookie? Maybe, I mean you might not want anything, thats also totally chill..” He was interrupted by the growing smile on Angel Guy’s face. Josh even made a noise, just to top everything off. Covering up a light swoon with a coughing fit tends to make things more awkward, ladies, gentlemen and non-binary pals.

“Um, I really appreciate the offer, honestly,” his voice was as heavenly as he looked, “I just really should get going. Stuff to do..”

“Oh.”

“I’m honestly _so_ sorry, I’m too clumsy, I- I shouldn't be here…”

“No! No, look, that was all my fault, sorry again, don't you dare apologize. It was not your fault. You’ve got stuff to do thats totally fine-“

“I really appreciate the offer though. Truly. Th-thank you anyway.” He was backing away now. Josh was on the verge of stabbing himself with the leftover spork lying on the table nearby. Angel Guy turned and speed-walked away too quick for Josh to notice his reddening cheeks. Josh dropped himself on one of the uncomfortable chairs and ruffled his hair so roughly he might have scratched his scalp a couple times.

He was still looking down when he heard a strangled, “went the wrong way,” and then, “see you around.” And quick footsteps sped past him so fast Josh was almost positive he had imagined that last part.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gonna try and update this again tomorrow? We'll see, lets hope!


	3. Save

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler begins his plan of earning some cash by playing songs to passerby on the street. Josh finds him after his shift and Tyler has a bit of a meltdown from his inner voices battling one another. Does he really deserve happiness? How can that be true? Its all too much, but maybe Josh can manage to push him in the right direction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my goodness wow wow thank you so so so much for all the lovely comments on the last chapter!! This really has me motivated to keep writing, as I wasn't sure at first if this was a good idea. I'm even more excited about the next chapter than I was to write this one! Hope you stick around!

Tyler scampered off, mortified at how squeaky he had sounded. Whoever that was, they were the kindest soul he had ever encountered. Tyler could _feel_ the boy’s eyes burning into his back until he made a sharp turn and went down an escalator, climbing down as it moved anyway.

Why Tyler had said, “see you around,” he had no clue. It just slipped out. _Would_ he actually ever meet that sort of generosity again? He didn't know, but he knew he definitely wanted to.

_Tyler no, you don’t deserve it anyway. Thats why you rejected him, remember?_

But you escaped dad, remember? Whats the point of leaving if you don't have happiness?

_Go back home, you need a nice beating to put you back in your place. This little outing has gone to your head._

Shut up.

_You’re worthless. You bumped into that guy and offended him by leaving. You’re an idiot._

Shut up.

_How do you even expect to live out here? Where will you go? You shitty excuse of a human, you **know** you’re not gonna last-_

“I said, shut _up!_ ” Tyler hissed out loud, pushing through the door to a public restroom. He surprised himself a little, wondering why he had gone here, then looked down at the ‘Forever 21’ bag and remembered.

Right.

He found his way into a stall, grateful the walls around him were metallic and shiny. He dropped his bag and dug out some makeup he had purchased from this ‘Forever 21’ place with the little money he had. (There was a lot of teenage girls there who gave him strange looks; the bruises on his face and neck were horrid.) Peering in the shiny surface of the door, He realized this ‘concealer’ he had already applied was mostly staying on. He put a little more on, trying to blend it in as best he could. Tyler definitely did not know how to do this.

He inspected his face in the mirrored surface, then the full weight of today hit him like a punch in the gut. He sat down on the toilet seat, staring into the oversized bag he insisted on taking (even though he only bought a tiny package of concealer.) Everyone he’s encountered today must have thought he was a freak. The fact he was in the makeup isle, carrying a ukulele with his unruly hair and a short sleeve shirt? Who wears a short sleeve shirt in the middle of winter? It was crazy. Tyler thought he was crazy.

_You’re insane._

I know.

Tyler didn’t have winter clothes anyway. Nothing fit him from last year and he briefly recalled his dad throwing out everything for “taking up too much space.” He sighed, remembering how useless this endeavor all was.

But it can’t be entirely useless, right? He met-

_You mean ‘ran into’?_

Hush, that man was the kindest person ever.

If Tyler had a chance at meeting him again, or meeting anyone like that, he could do this. He had 8 dollars left. _Thats enough to buy a snack for tonight, right?_ He eyed his ukulele which he had hidden in the large ‘Forever 21’ bag, and stood. This would work. His hand shook slightly and he had to grab his wrist to stop it. _Don’t forget, he cant hurt you anymore._

****

The muted grey sky outside made Tyler hope his fingers wouldn't freeze. Even if they didn't freeze, people might hate the music anyway. He pulled on the thin flannel and stepped through the doors. He had never gotten used to the sliding ones. The whoosh always made him jump a little. At first, a large gust of chilly air rushed past Tyler and he sucked in a breath. After he got a few feet out, however, the wind seemed to stop and he picked a spot a little ways from the entrance. Realizing the empty bag would fly away, he found he didn’t have anything for passerby to donate any money into. 

He thought for a moment, then slowly peeled off the flannel. Tyler crouched, making a sort of bowl out of the fabric. He folded up the bag and placed it under the shirt, hoping it’d be enough weight. He finally stood, trying not to shake from the cold, and decided the makeshift-cloth-bowl would be enough to throw a coin or two in there.

Tyler picked up his instrument, the only thing he really had left, and coughed lightly, trying to warm up his lungs and vocal chords. His breath fogged and dissipated, blending into the clouded grey sky above. He closed his eyes and began to play. He was grateful it was still in tune, and soon fell into a steady chord sequence. As he sang, he thought about opening his eyes just to check if anyone actually cared. Tyler realized this didn’t matter anyway, since he could do nothing to change people’s minds.

This continued for quite some time. At first Tyler played some generic songs he would overhear from his father’s radio. After he ran out of those, he turned to a few covers he made of songs he listened to in his childhood. He thought of his mother, and felt himself slip into the rhythm for a song he wrote called ‘House of Gold.’ She wasn't here anymore, due to a faulty plane engine and a bad disagreement. Maybe a tear slipped out, but it probably froze before it could roll down his cheek.

He continued to play, and sing, and did his best not to cry. He began to sway gently. The wind was starting to pick up again, and it nipped at his flushed ears and cheeks. He didn't completely notice though. Tyler was remembering.

He remembered his mother’s soft voice. He remembered his father’s comforting words. He remembered the warm home he once had. Then he remembered the pain, the loss.. and then the physical pain. He remembered the countless nights that seemed to wear on forever, no break; the relentlessness would last for days.

Tyler didn’t know he was crying until he played the last chord of the last song and realized his face was dripping. He sniffled, not wanting to open his eyes. He didn't want to see the empty shirt-bowl, he didn't want to see an empty space in front of him, he didn't want to see people there, listening, but watching him cry like some pathetic baby. His eyes seemed to be frozen shut anyway.

He didn't even really feel the biting cold until-

“I’m so sorry.”

Tyler’s eyelashes pulled themselves apart and he jumped for what felt like the millionth time that day. A thick hoodie was being pushed gently into his arms. When did Tyler even get into a sitting position? Why was there a hoodie there? Wait, had someone spoken to him? He lifted his head and found himself staring straight into the face of the man he bumped into earlier.

“You… huh?”

The man paused, searching Tyler’s face. “I just..I’m sorry.”

“You’re… sorry?” They were very close. “For what?”

“I’m sorry cause… you must have been though some bad shit, I mean look at you-“ He broke off, and Tyler thought maybe his cheeks flushed a little more pink in the chilly air. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to swear, but I—“ he paused again, then looked down at Tyler’s hands. “You’re shaking. Please put on the hoodie.”

Tyler glanced down at his own hands and realized the man was right. His hands were trembling and he couldn't decide whether it was from the cold or the fact that this guy had actually _given_ him an article of warm clothing.

“I— I can’t do that..” He feebly pushed back the hoodie, “It’s yours.”

The man stared at him. “They were saying its going to snow tonight, so either take the hoodie now, or I’ll sit here until you do.”

Tyler took this as an order. If it was an order, then he _had_ to do it. He stared back at the man, then carefully pulled on the hoodie.

“You got a name?” Tyler heard his muffled voice through the thick fabric, struggling to find the head hole. 

“Tyler..” He responded, trying to tug himself through one of the arms. The man must’ve pulled the hoodie in the right direction, because Tyler’s head popped out, hair fluffing up everywhere. He managed the arms after that.

“Sorry, I didn’t get that.”

“Oh, sorry, its Tyler.”

“Tyler.. thats a nice name- cool, I mean. Yeah- cool name. Sorry,” his ears turned redder. “I’m Josh,” he said, looking him up and down. “Is this that ‘thing’ you said you had to do earlier?”

It was Tyler’s turn to be embarrassed. He nodded. “I’m really sorry again for earlier…I honestly-“

“I don’t want to hear you apologize again, okay? Nothing is your fault here.”

“But-“

“No buts.” And Josh did a thing Tyler wasn't expecting. Wasn't expecting it at all. He reached up with a long sleeve pulled over his hand, and wiped at Tyler’s cheek.

“No more crying, okay?” But Josh stopped when he saw him wincing. Tyler silently cursed himself for not being able to help it. He cursed the makeup for not being permanent. “Is- is that a bruise? Holy shi- I mean, how did I not notice that before? That looks really bad, Tyler, did someone hit you?”

“N-no, I ran into a door.” Tyler stared at his lap. He felt a little dizzy. Why wasn't his dad here by now? He should be punished. He had run away and someone was demonstrating kindness to Tyler. He didn't understand.

“We should get somewhere warm,” Josh stood up, worry tainting his voice. He looked around. “You’re still shivering, Tyler. Here just… follow me, okay? The mall is closed so we’ll have to sit in my car.”

He was right, Tyler was downright trembling now. _Why haven't you hit me yet? I need punishment. I shouldn't be here. I’ve done wrong._ He got up, groaning quietly at the strain in his legs. He must have been sitting for a long time. He picked up his ukulele and looked over at the makeshift flannel-bowl. To his surprise, a few coins and dollar bills were scattered in the folds. The image kept going in and out of focus, but he pocketed the cash and tied the flannel back around his waist. Maybe his fingers really were freezing up, this shouldn't be so difficult..

Once Tyler had the shirt tied back on, he took a few steps toward Josh and stumbled, dropping on his knees. The ukulele fell from his grasp and made a horrible sound as it scratched against the pavement. He heard a faint shout and realized Josh was running back towards him.

_What the hell is wrong with you?_

I can’t see..

“Tyler! Tyler, are you okay? What’s wrong— Tyler?”

Tyler was squinting; barely making out the shape of Josh’s form bending over him. He had the faint notion that he was twisting, crawling away as fast as he could to be sick in the grass a few feet away. He coughed, and vaguely remembered Josh helping him to sit up, and maybe he was saying something to Tyler but everything was underwater. The familiar feeling was seeping through him, dragging him down, he wasn't in control of his muscles anymore. His eyes drifted to Josh’s head.

_His hair looks like cotton candy._

 

Sleep.


	4. Whisper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> OKAY SO IM GOING TO HELL
> 
> ???????????take that however you will but I promise I did not mean for there to be any sin until at least chapter 5 but my hand slipped I'm ,,,so sorry
> 
> basically Tyler is an Innocent Angel and Josh is mr. liar with pants that have their own place in satan's home bc they are SO ON FIRE WOW WHAT A YIKES

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAA every time I check back on previous chapters to see feedback I can't help but grin like an idiot??you are too kind ??????
> 
> there is .definitely sin in this chapter so if you're not about that then feel free to not read.
> 
> I'd just like to add that I'm really really not practiced in writing Sin Things and it might be a bit cringe but I hope not! Enjoy, this was pretty fun to write, I'm going to hell

Josh was just about ready to roast himself over a fire. 

Every time he thought about Tyler he had to force himself to replace “Angel” with his real name. He did have a name, after all. Angel Guy- _Tyler_ had a name and Josh Dun knew it. He knew Tyler’s name because Tyler was currently sleeping in the car seat next to him. 

Tyler, the pure and wonderful angel, was sleeping in the car seat next to him.

Josh couldn't stop letting out little breathy laughs every time he remembered this.

There was, however, a much more difficult matter at hand here. Something really, really awful had happened to this boy. Something horrible. In carrying Tyler to his car (Josh was eternally grateful there hadn't been anyone in that section of the parking lot) he had noticed several more bruises on Tyler’s neck and wrists. His insistence that he didn't “deserve” any good things and the over-apologizing accompanied with the injuries led Josh to suspect some type of abuse. He told himself he wouldn't press though. Tyler must have been through so much, for fucks sake, its not like he just vomited and passed out only a few minutes ago.

Josh made up his mind he’d look after him until he came to. He hoped desperately that bringing Tyler to his house wouldn't make him panic. The last thing he wanted was to think Josh had captured him. If this was abuse that Tyler had been through, he'd make sure he was the farthest thing from that.

Glancing over to the passenger side, Josh pressed his lips together to stop himself from cooing like there was a puppy in the car. Josh’s hoodie was way too big on Tyler’s tiny frame (that was another thing, had Tyler been eating enough?) and the boy had his head cushioned on his hand against the window. His other hand was rested on his left knee which was pulled up on the seat next to his body. Josh reached over, keeping an eye on the road ahead, and aimed the heater a little further towards Tyler. He had finally stopped shivering, and Josh wondered briefly if the trembling had been from the trauma, shock of cold, or nausea. If it was all combined..Josh couldn't bear to think about it. He welled up a little just thinking about what could've caused Tyler this much pain.

Josh pulled into his driveway, turned off the car and walked to the other side. He carefully opened the passenger door, determined to be there if Tyler fell out.

"...Tyler?" Josh whispered, praying this wasn't as creepy as he thought it was. "I'm gonna take you inside okay? I really hope that's fine."

Tyler stirred briefly, murmuring something inaudible. Josh hesitated a moment before continuing, "I'm gonna make sure you're safe, okay? Are you..can you walk?"

He got a cough in response, eyes still closed. For a few seconds Josh waited, listening to the trees stirring in the chilly breeze. And then, _oh boy_ and _then_ , Tyler reached up and his arm was suddenly hooked around Josh's neck. Josh let himself be pulled closer, completely shocked. Tyler (consciously or unconsciously, Josh still had no clue,) wrapped his other arm around Josh's shoulder and clung there. There was about one more second of time that passed before Josh realized Tyler wanted to be carried. He was _way_ more than happy to oblige.

Josh slid his arms under Tyler’s limp form and lifted him from the car, his head cradled against Josh's chest. Josh’s heart swelled. 

_Don’t you go falling in love, now. You can’t let that happen, nope, don’t do it, you don't even know the guy—_

At this point Josh could care less about logic. Maybe it wasn't ‘love’ just yet, but Josh knew he’d never felt this way about any other person. All he’d done was drive Tyler home. Man, he was in deep.

Josh made sure Tyler got his bed. He was more than perfectly fine to sleep on the couch for as long as necessary. He moved to settle an extra blanket on Tyler’s legs, but paused. He briefly wondered about Tyler’s current clothes situation. The hoodie was probably comfortable enough, but skinny jeans? He’d have to take the shoes off at least.

Pulling off the black vans, Josh kept his gaze fixed on Tyler’s face. He didn’t want to wake him; this must be his first decent night’s sleep in ages. After his shoes were dropped on the floor, he paused, staring at his jeans.

Oh _god,_ those stupid, cursed jeans.

They were already skinny. They already clung to Tyler’s legs in all the right places. They already complimented Tyler’s perfect ass enough. (Not that Josh had been looking there or anything..)

Okay, so far, he had literally carried a grown-ass man _into_ his car, not to mention he was _unconscious,_ Josh had blatantly been staring at his sleeping form, and carried him to _Josh’s own bed_.

Taking off his pants? Yeah that _might_ just be a step too far. Josh blinked, cringing inwardly a little at what this all would look like to someone without context.

“No, no, no, no, no, _no._ Thats enough Josh, the taking off of the pants can wait till he’s conscious.” Josh sighed softly then realized what he’d just murmured to himself. He straightened, blushing like mad, and turned on his heel to speed walk out of the room. Oh _lord_ was he glad Tyler was asleep. Why did this keep happening to him?

“Stupid. Awkward. Brick.” Josh smacked himself repeatedly in the forehead as he steered himself down the hallway. “You’re acting like a fucking pedophile, at this point you better make sure Tyler leaves for his own good. Stupid. Fucking. Idiot. Ugh.” Josh threw himself onto the couch. He stayed there, on his back, admiring the bland eggshell ceiling for quite some time. The only thing on his mind right now was Tyler, and Josh felt downright sinful for being so goddamn creepy. He didn't want it to have been this way, why couldn't he just be normal about him? Tyler probably didn't even like him at all.

“Oh my god, what am I _doing?_ ”

Eventually, Josh felt his eyelids droop, and sleep washed over him.

****

“Josh…”

Silence.

“Josh. You up?”

Still silence.

“Josh..please…”

Candy red hair suddenly popped up from behind the arm of the couch. Josh snapped to attention, realizing Tyler was standing near the entrance to the hall, looking his way. It was almost pitch black, but there was faint moonlight filtering though the window above Josh’s head.

“Tyler?” Josh glanced at the digital clock on the TV. 

3:50 A.M.

“Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you..”

“No, no honey—“ Josh broke into violent coughing, inwardly screaming at himself, “—Tyler, um, no, don't worry its all good. W-whats up?” Josh was straining to see Tyler’s face in the faint light but his eyes wouldn't adjust.

“I couldn't sleep,” he said simply.

“Y-you couldn't sleep?” Josh sat up, remaining on the couch. “When I left you, you seemed to be pretty passed out to me. Is everything okay?”

“No.”

Josh’s heart missed a beat. “..No? Nightmares? Um, maybe I can get you some water? Or…” his voice faltered as he watched Tyler begin to move closer.

“That’s okay.” There was a different note in Tyler’s voice, something Josh hadn’t heard up until now. He could feel his own heart pounding. There was a sense of…not dread, but not suspense either. The feeling was as though something was about to happen and Josh wasn't sure if it was good.

“I really couldn't sleep.”

Josh swallowed. “Oh,” was all he could manage.

“I mean, I wasn't asleep to begin with.”

Josh’s mouth went dry. “Right.”

“Right.” Tyler repeated. He sat down next to Josh, who’s head slowly turned to face him.

“S-so,” Josh began, but Tyler was leaning closer. Holy _shit_ Tyler was really very quite close indeed.

“So,” Tyler echoed, in that same tone. He inched further until he was centimeters away from Josh’s lips. Josh slowly exhaled, but didn't move. “I heard you,” Tyler whispered, and closed the distance.

Josh felt his eyes flutter closed, and immediately kissed back. He was pushing, further, until Tyler was on his back, right underneath Josh. His duck-fluff was everywhere; Josh made sure of it as his hands easily cupped the sides of Tyler’s face while they locked lips. Josh had absolutely no clue what was happening but _**holyfuckingshit**_ he was suddenly so turned on he couldn’t think straight anymore. Not that any part of him was straight to begin with. The only thing on Josh’s mind right now was _oh my lord I am **so fucking** gay._

Tyler’s hips were bucking and Josh groaned into his mouth, feeling the boy’s hard-on through his- wait, boxers? Josh broke away momentarily and realized that Tyler’s clothes had somehow been discarded on the floor, but decided it must have happened when he wasn't paying attention. Josh decided he would definitely need to pay more attention from now on.

Just as he thought this, Tyler surged up below him and flipped them so that Josh was now on bottom. Josh didn't have time to protest because Tyler was crawling south very quickly. There was no warning for his t-shirt being pushed up, exposing his stomach. Josh moaned quietly as Tyler began peppering kisses down, down, further down, past his navel, (Josh sucked in a breath) and Tyler was shoving down Josh’s boxers faster than he could've said “I’m gonna blow you.”

Tyler said it anyway. “Gonna suck you.” And Josh whined, a warmth rapidly spreading in his gut.

There wasn’t another warning, that was all Josh got before Tyler was shoving his face down on Josh’s dick, nose brushing his pubic bone in seconds. Josh stuttered on his previous breath, back arching as his mouth fell open.

“Ohhh fuck fuck fuck fuck _fuck_ , Tyler holy shiiii _iittttt_ ” Josh’s voice rose two octaves as Tyler raised himself up off for a moment, licking a stripe up the underside of his dick. “Holy shit, Tyler holy shit, oh oh…oh my _god_ , Tyler, Jesus _**fuuuuuuck..**_ ” Josh garbled, hands weaving through Tyler’s hair. Tyler mouthed at the slit before going back down, and Josh couldn't believe how short he was going to last.

“T-Tyler, Tyler, listen,” Josh was gasping for words, he could barely speak, “Tyler I'm so close, you need to”— He tried pulled Tyler off him— “Tyler if you keep- I’m gonna…..I’m- ohhhh fuuuuck, Tylertylertylertylertyler….”

 

But Tyler didn't stop. Nope. No, instead of stopping, he swallowed. He fucking _swallowed_ around his dick, and kept at it until one of Josh’s hands flew from Tyler’s hair to his mouth where he sobbed into it, eyes screwed up as he came. His eyebrows furrowed, lips parted, head tilted back in ecstasy, and Josh swore he saw stars. He could feel Tyler still sucking any leftover cum down his throat and a tear formed in the corner of Josh’s eye.

For the first time since the beginning of all this, Tyler spoke. “Josh?”

It took a moment for Josh to regain his breath but he refused to open his eyes, still relishing the post-orgasm feeling. “That was…incredible..”

“Josh…”

“Y-yeah?”

“Josh.”

“I’m here, baby, what is it?” But as Josh looked down to where Tyler should have been, the space was empty. His heart began to thud violently again and a sense of dread washed over him. “Tyler?”

“Josh.”

Josh blinked. And he blinked again. The room changed around him, and his point of view changed; he was laying down sideways, and the ticking clock from his kitchen became audible. It wasn't moonlight, but daylight that was filtering through the window behind him. The digital clock read ‘8:16 A.M.’

His eyes slowly widened.

“You okay?”

Josh’s stomach plummeted. He slowly sat up, looking over the edge of the couch arm. Tyler was standing in the exact same spot from the beginning of his dream. Josh felt very, very nauseous.

Tyler’s worried eyes bored straight back into Josh’s panicked ones, and Josh had to clear his throat softly before replying, “n-no not exactly.”

Tyler’s head tilted.

“Um..nightmare.” Josh pulled his shirt down extremely low and got off the couch faced away from Tyler.

“Didn’t sound like just any nightmare.”

Josh froze. His pants were _so_ on fire.

“You-you were saying my name. I was in it, wasn't I? You… had a bad dream? About..me?”

Josh’s shoulders relaxed slightly. “Um, yeah. You were..” he turned to face Tyler, making sure the wet spot in the front of his jeans was hidden from view. “You were in trouble. I was worried.”

_Liar, liar, your pants are beyond on fire you might as well be burning in **hell** you absolute, complete, stupid idiot._

Tyler stared at him, and for a panicked moment Josh thought he could see disbelief in his eyes. It vanished however, and Josh pushed his way past Tyler, muttering something about the bathroom and getting changed for the day. Tyler nodded, watching him move by.

“I’ll be right out, okay? You’re welcome to check out the kitchen and figure out what you'd like for breakfast,” he called as he went down the hallway. 

“Wait, whatever I…whatever I want?”

“what _ever_ you want!” Josh singsonged back from his bedroom, and boy oh boy, at this point his cheeks were burning even hotter than his pants.


	5. Realize That Its Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the boys finally have a proper conversation ??
> 
> Josh is trying oh so desperately not to fall in love and Tyler just really really likes this weirdo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ohhhmygod okay wow its been a few days since I last updated, sorry about that, stuff got unexpectedly busy. anyways I wrote like half of this at 2 am last night so I apologize in advance for the writing today. Hope its alright!

Tyler was a bit confused by everything.

Maybe he was imagining things, but he was almost 100% sure that Josh was blushing as he left to change. Had he seriously just had a bad dream about him? Was he _that_ worried for him? And had Josh seriously just offered _anything_ he wanted for breakfast? Wait no, back up. Had Josh actually just taken him to his house? And provided shelter? Wait, wait, wait, no hang on. had Josh provided Tyler with his own bed? Had Josh seriously chosen to sleep on the couch? Over his _own_ bed?

Tyler just stood there, then turned to stare at the couch with the rumpled blankets (one was on the floor, Tyler moved to pick it up,) and realized that yes, this was real. Josh had actually done this. Out of sheer _kindness._ Tyler didn’t know how to feel.

Approaching footsteps made Tyler snap back to attention, placing the now folded blanket on one of the couch cushions. Josh stepped out of the hall, noticing his fixed up makeshift bed.

“Oh, Tyler, you didn't have to..”

For the first time, Tyler got the clearest view of (this obvious angel sent from above to fix his life for good) Josh. He was wearing a grey button-down shirt, (Tyler noticed how tight it was) a pair of light brown jeans? Pants? (Whatever, it made his hips look amazing… wait.)

He was currently fixing a beanie over his messy red frizz, exposing his arm of tattoos. Tyler remembered getting his own, not being able to imagine how long Josh must have sat to get those. 

Tyler cleared his throat softly. “Um, Its okay, its the least I can do right now,” Tyler was wide-eyed, hoping he hadn't stared too long.

“Oh. Alright then.” Tyler thought he saw Josh’s eyes flick down his body and back to his face but it was so quick he must have imagined it. “Did you decide what you wanted for breakfast?”

The question caught Tyler a bit off guard. Josh noticed his hesitation, and the air around him changed completely.

“Oh, my god, wow I— yeah okay, you obviously have a lot of questions, um, wow _yikes_ , first off, I’m completely sorry for taking you back to my place while you were… unconscious,” Josh shifted his weight uncomfortably, “I realize that was extremely stupid of me and… careless and dumb, and I’m— I apologize.” Josh looked at his shoes, pulling at his left ear. “You are completely, totally free though! Like, please don't think I captured you or.. yeah that. The front door is right there,” Josh gestured to the door behind Tyler, but was internally yelling at himself to not seem like he was kicking him out either. “I mean, you’re more than welcome to stay as well, but whatever’s better for you, its all good by me, I mean,” he blurted. 

Tyler eyed the door behind him and turned back to Josh, wondering why on earth he would think that he’d want to leave. Besides, Josh’s rambling was actually amusing him a bit.

“I mean, like, of course its fine by me; its not my decision at all what I do with you— fuck, no thats not—” Josh took a shuddering breath, “I mean, like, yknow, its not my business at all.. with what you do. Thats-thats what I meant to say. I— yeah,” Josh blabbed.

_Is he done?_

I’m not sure.

_Yeah, I think he’s done._

“Well..um, okay. Thank you,” Tyler blinked. Josh was reddening more, if that was even possible. “D-do you have, um, cereal?” Tyler hardly dared believe the audacity he had to ask for something, but somehow around Josh he felt like it was okay.

Apparently it was more than okay, because Josh immediately brightened. “Yeah, definitely! Wanna come look? I’ve got a few; I can never pick favorites.” Tyler trailed after him into the kitchen, admiring the neatness of everything. It was nothing like his dad’s house; constantly trashed, letting all the seasonal weather in through carelessly opened windows from midnight rampages. Trash would be littered everywhere, there were even small piles every few steps. In the aftermath of his step-dad’s divorce, the place got even darker, and Tyler had couldn't have guessed it were possible.

“I like your place,” Tyler remarked, enjoying the welcome sunlight through closed windows; no icy winter chill had been present here. Josh sank back down from his tip-toes, having reached for a box of cereal from the top of the fridge.

“Oh, thanks. I like your hair.”

Tyler’s eyes fixed on Josh, taken aback.

Josh gaped. “I— I meant, in the sun, it..it looks cool.” His throat was dry. “I wish my hair was like that,” he added weakly. He wanted to scream. If he wasn’t careful, his stupid big mouth would admit to wet dreaming about Tyler.

“Oh,” the corner of Tyler’s mouth twitched, “no, your hair is definitely cooler than mine. Its hot—“

Josh almost dropped the cereal box.

“—I mean, like, fire. It looks like fire. Fire is… hot..” Tyler ruffled his hair, embarrassed, unknowingly sending a chill down Josh’s spine.

Josh snorted quietly, “thanks,” he gestured to the selection of cereal. “Take your pick.” Tyler stepped forward tentatively, choosing one labeled ‘Cookie Crisp.’ Why Josh smiled, Tyler didn't know, but he didn't mind much. His last meal had been breakfast yesterday, which consisted of a slice of bread and a slightly bruised apple he dug out of the trash (his step-dad had thrown it away, saying it was ‘useless.’)

The generosity Josh kept expressing to him was unheard of. Tyler found himself more and more surprised by every little thing he said. Josh poured his own cereal, absentmindedly passing Tyler the milk while moving to the other side of the kitchen to grab spoons. Tyler stared.

“I can…you’re letting me pour however much milk I want?”

Josh paused in the flatware drawer. He blinked, then turned. “Uh, yeah. You’re not 5, I trust you to handle the milk jug,” he giggled a bit, then silenced himself at the look on Tyler’s face. They stood like that for a few seconds, Tyler glaring at the milk with Josh’s eyes fixed on Tyler’s expression. It was as if Josh was searing into Tyler’s mind, begging to be let in. Josh knew there was something wrong, but wouldn't verbally push him to talking about anything, but Tyler could feel his burning questions.

Slowly, Tyler poured the milk, and found that he was, indeed, not 5.

“Yes.”

Josh’s eyebrow twitched. “What?”

“Yeah, someone hit me.”

Josh almost stuck his elbow in his bowl in trying to lean on the counter casually. “Shit, man,” then quickly added, “I hope you don’t mind my swearing, its a bad habit.”

Tyler gave a sad sort of half-smile. “Its not an issue. I’m used to it.” He inhaled, and Josh put the milk back in the fridge. “I—I’m sorry if I come off as weird. Yesterday was the first time I’d been outside in a few months…It’s my step-dad.”

“Fuck,” breathed Josh descriptively. “I mean, I thought something might be wrong, but I didn’t want to say anything.” He studied Tyler’s face for any sign of offense taken, but his expression remained clear. “Oh, you totally don’t have to talk about this now if you don’t want, I mean we just got ourselves some pretty kick-ass cereal.”

Tyler smiled. Score.

Josh decided it was a green light and continued, “I’m pretty sure no one wants to discuss abusive families over kick-ass Cookie Crisp, am I right?” He chuckled, hoping everything he said was okay. It seemed every time he was around Tyler he managed to screw up some perfectly good conversation with his awkward manner. But Tyler just grinned back, and Josh internally heaved a sigh of relief.

They ate breakfast and Josh tried not to laugh as Tyler wolfed down the cereal, (he’d never seen anyone so excited about Cookie Crisp) and finished it off by drinking from the bowl, leaving a ridiculous milk-mustache.

“Would you ever consider moving in?” Josh blurted out.

“Could I maybe get seconds of this?” Tyler asked, then stopped mid-wipe on his sleeve upon realizing they spoke at the same moment.

“Yes,” they said in unison, then, “wait, for real?!” They were laughing now, and it was the first time either had heard it.

_Josh, keep it together keep it together…Holy **Jesus** he is so beautiful oh god help me how can I live with someone who’s laugh makes the sound of what Christmas feels like?_

_Wow, there goes any chance of having platonic feelings about him. Nice going Tyler, real nice._

Silence lapsed between the two, the weight of what Josh had just asked (and Tyler’s response) sinking in. It was Josh who spoke first. “Listen, I know how hard it can be to talk directly about some ugly things that might have happened in your life. Especially to someone you hardly know,” Josh was speaking to the table, but Tyler could feel the sincerity in his words. “All _I_ need to know is that your step-dad gave you a rough time, and all _you_ need to know is that all of that is gonna change as long as you’re around me. It'll change for the better. Oh my god, I can’t wait to take you places— no sorry that sounded weird, I meant like, we can go proper shopping and oh you could come with me to that new restaurant that just opened; I’ve never been! _Oh_ , and don't let me forget the new dog park, oh my gosh I _love_ dogs I hope you like dogs, if you don't thats okay, _**oh**_ mygod what if we get a dog? I’ve wanted one for so long oh wow this is gonna be amazing—“ Josh shut himself up so fast Tyler heard his teeth click. It didn’t matter though, cause Tyler was laughing again, actually _laughing_ , and Josh was sure glad he shut up because _damn, who in the right mind would want to miss a sound like that?_

“I’ll get you more cereal, okay?” Josh grabbed Tyler’s bowl, trying desperately to hide his flushed cheeks but it was too late. Tyler spotted the spreading pink shade over his face and grinned more.

“Thanks, babe,” Tyler murmured under his breath, then internally smacked himself. What’s come over him? _Get a grip, you’re acting like you've got a dumb high school crush._

Well, maybe thats what it feels like, Tyler told himself defensively.

_If thats true then you sure are in for a ride, buddy._

Yeah, Tyler knew it, but decided he really didn't care at all. Bring on the high school crush, those were always the most exciting ones anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hMMM so next chapter I'm thinking Josh is an overexcited puppy and just really wants to show Tyler /////all the places so its an excuse for him to take him on dates without embarrassing himself as much, yknow? idk its just some idea ,,I'll definitely be working on that soon


	6. Falling Too

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler kinda has a bit of a breakdown; Josh just really wants to rid him of pain  
> (suicide/self harm tw)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm officially bad at updates! yay
> 
> okay please excuse the writing, this chapter was written over the span of like two weeks and all at 3 AM so its a bit dodgy,, anyways, I feel like I say this a lot but I'm feeling good about the next chapter!! stay tuned my frens :^)

It wasn't long before Tyler realized he had a clothing issue. Upon returning to the bedroom where he had slept the night before, he found that Josh had left his ‘Forever 21’ bag by the bed. It still only consisted of his ukulele and.. his vans? Tyler looked down.

“Oh,” he murmured, realizing for the first time he was barefoot. 

_Of course you’re barefoot, who sleeps with their shoes on?_

So maybe the voice was right, but that would mean that Josh had pulled his shoes off. Tyler wondered momentarily why he hadn't at least removed his jeans. Like, if you were gonna make someone more comfortable, why stop with shoes? He shrugged to himself, taking a mental note to ask Josh later.

Mind you, Tyler didn’t exactly register what he was thinking completely, he was too busy trying to figure out what he would wear. He grabbed the thin flannel-patterned shirt from the day before and pulled his t-shirt off. He guessed the jeans would have to stay, its not like he had another choice. He tossed the t-shirt in the bag and straightened, looking around for a mirror. There was an attached bathroom in the corner of the room, and Tyler made a beeline for it.

The faucet there was eternally dripping, slowly, and Tyler stared at it. 

Drip.

Tyler’s eyes flickered.

Drip.

Attention had to be focused on something else, yet the only other ‘something’ was the very thing he fought to ignore.

_Mirror, stupid._

“Right..”

_Drip._

His eyes trailed over his shirtless form in the mirror, running his hand over some of the worst bruises.

_It’s your own damn fault you have these._

“No.. no, I—“

_Drip._

Had a minute passed? Five? Too much screaming…

_Shut up, idiot, you brought that anger upon yourself and now look. You’re hideous. Disgusting. You’ve got so many flaws theres no room for any decent traits._

_Drip._

Tyler felt his stomach clench.

_No one will ever love you. You don't deserve it. That Josh kid? He doesn’t fucking care. He just brought you here cause you’re a **freak.** A freakshow, thats all you are._

“S-Stop, no, its not true,” his fist tightened around the shirt.

_**Drip.**_

_And you think he’s **cute,** don't you? You really do. **You’re a fag and you’ll burn for it.** You **never** deserved anyone’s love._

It was very possible that Tyler had slid down the wall, but it probably didn’t matter.

_You should’ve ended this wreck ages ago. This useless, horrid, train wreck. A waste. Your life is a **waste** —_

“Tyler?”

He waited, but next drop never hit the bottom of the sink.

He heard a rushed, “oh my god,” from somewhere above him and suddenly he was being pulled from the grubby bath mat; a clattering noise of something plastic hitting the tile was what broke Tyler out of his reverie.

Josh had wrapped both arms firmly around Tyler’s upper torso, urging him out of the bathroom. Tyler blinked, sweeping the small room and found it was a disposable shaving razor that had slipped from his grasp. Josh quickly closed the door behind them and moved Tyler over to the bed. He sat him down on the edge, kneeling by the bed himself so that he was eye-level with Tyler.

“Tyler, Tyler, Tyler…” Josh was murmuring over and over, and Tyler realized his hands were cupping his face, trying to wipe away any tears before they ran too far down his cheeks.

“I..” Tyler tried to convey a sentence, but his mouth merely gaped like a fish out of water, lips trembling slightly. Josh shushed him as if he were speaking to a child. He stood up, and Tyler panicked slightly. He would have pleaded him not to leave if it weren’t for his apparent sudden lack of vocal chords.

To his relief, Josh only walked to the dresser and dug around in the top drawer for a moment only to pull out a box of tissues. He fell back upon Tyler immediately, one hand supporting his dropping head and the other dabbing at his eyes and nose with a tissue.

Josh didn’t speak. Tyler watched his determined expression through swollen eyes and attempted to calm his hiccups. Holding your breath works to get rid of those, right? He tried, each time only managing to hold it for about five seconds before the air rushed out of him and he was gasping all over again.

“Breathe, baby,” Josh murmured, and wiped another tear from his face before Tyler could taste the tang of salt. “Just breathe, okay? You’re okay, look,” he gently scooped Tyler’s shaking hand from his lap and laid it over Josh’s chest, holding it in place. “Copy me. Breathe in—“ he inhaled, maintaining eye contact with Tyler— “and out—“ he exhaled slowly. Tyler closed his eyes, willing himself not to cry anymore.

_Crying’s for babies._

Tyler whimpered.

“Hey, keep breathing,” Josh’s voice was louder than the one in his head. Tyler opened his stinging eyes, and willed them to focus on Josh’s face. He nodded, feeling Josh’s own lungs rise and fall beneath his fingers. He noticed Josh’s gaze dip down to the hand on his chest, then flicked over to Tyler’s other arm. Relief flooded his expression, but Tyler could identify an undertone of worry.

Josh made sure he held Tyler’s line of sight before speaking again. “Were you hurt?”

Tyler blinked, taken aback slightly at his approach at the question. Josh asked it as if Tyler wasn’t the one harming himself; like it was someone else who inflicted those injuries. 

He felt himself relax even more.

“No. I don't think so,” Tyler surprised himself at the steadiness of his voice, despite how quiet he was.

Josh was nodding quickly, his face unwinding from very tense worry to simple concern. “Thats good, thats good.” He suddenly seemed to realize Tyler was topless; he drew back an inch or two, as if to respect his space. The fierce protectiveness he had displayed moments ago was fading fast, draining until he was his usual ‘no-idea-what-i’m-doing’ self.

“Um, did you..you had a shirt, right?”

Tyler wondered why he was so flustered all of a sudden. “Yeah, uh, I think I dropped it. In there,” he added, specifying the bathroom. He swiped at his nose. Josh got up and returned to his side, shirt clutched in his hand, faster than Tyler could count the wet spots on his jeans from the tears.

“Thanks,” Tyler mumbled, shakily feeding his arms through the sleeves. His fingers however, were trembling so much he couldn’t even do up the first button. Josh didn’t hesitate to leap to his aid; he gently pushed aside Tyler’s hands and replaced them with his own.

Tyler was extremely grateful for this ‘no questions asked’ kind of setting they had going. He wanted to explain everything to Josh, he really did, but right now Tyler knew it would be a major mistake to relive anything from the past few minutes.

Josh reached the fourth button down, and something pushed its way into Tyler’s memory.

“You said…’baby.’” Tyler ventured. It wasn't a question.

Josh fumbled on the button and it slipped back out of the hole.

“Did I?”

“Yes,” Tyler responded evenly.

Josh fastened the last button and stood, looking down at Tyler. He immediately decided this angle felt way too demeaning and moved to the closet.

“Also, why didn’t you take my pants off last night?”

Josh definitely threw the closet door open way too hard.

“Sorry?” His voice cracked and he clutched the side of the door, cringing horribly. The only good thing about this situation was that he was facing away from Tyler.

“Like, does everyone sleep in jeans? I just thought—” Tyler broke off, sensing the discomfort coming off in waves. “Sorry, wait, that was an incredibly stupid question, actually, forget I ever said anything, wow I'm an idiot,” Tyler rushed out, finally realizing how awkward his question must have sounded.

Josh’s voice sounded too whiny and high to belong to him. “No, no, you're fine. Its okay.” He paused, eyes unfocused as he flipped through various garments hung in rows. Jesus, when would he ever shake his stupid awkwardness? His hand grazed past the zip-up hoodie he’d been looking for, and he focused back on task. He pulled the faux-leather and camo jacket from its hanger and willed his cheeks not to burn as he turned to Tyler.

“Are you still up for going out? We can absolutely just stay home if you need to.”

Tyler felt his shoulders loosen a bit more. “Can we stay here a few more hours? I’d probably be okay to go later.”

Josh smiled, and Tyler’s stomach felt funny. “Anything you need, sweet—“ he made a strangled noise that sounded a mix of clearing his throat and a cough— “Tyler,” Josh tried to correct himself but they both knew what he was about to say. Josh tossed the jacket at the end of the bed to try and distract from the situation.

“This is for you, by the way. Its kinda brisky outside,” he understated. Tyler opened his mouth to protest, but Josh cut him off.

“No buts. I didn’t pull you out of a frozen parking lot just for you to get frostbite a day later.”

“Okay, c’mon man, you _probably_ can’t get frostbite,” Tyler sniffed, trying to get rid of any ‘after-cry’ effects. He smirked slightly at Josh’s disbelief.

“You’re crazy,” Josh snorted, hand on one hip. “Accept the jacket or we’re not going anywhere. Anyways, we have a few hours to spare now.”

Tyler’s smile faltered briefly. Did he just mess things up? Was this going to be awkward? Had he ruined Josh’s plans? Did Josh even have a plan?

“Have you ever seen ‘The X-Files?’” Josh straightened eagerly, interrupting his thoughts. Tyler felt like if he had seen it he wouldn't be able to say yes simply because of the kid-in-a-candy-store expression Josh wore.

“..No?”

Josh gasped dramatically. “Oh my _god_ , Tyler I know exactly what’ll cheer you up. We’re gonna have the best few hours of your _life._ Just kidding. We’re gonna have even more fun later than the fun we’re about to have, okay?” He paused, “wait no, sorry. Weird. Disregard that sentence. _Anyways,_ just trust me, this is gonna be sick.”

He sprinted out of the room, calling out something about joining him in the living room for some ‘lit aliens, dude.”

Tyler remained on the edge of the bed, about to run after him, but he allowed a single thought to linger for a few moments; 

_He’s definitely right. I am crazy. Yet somehow, he makes it okay._


	7. Prove Me Wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> netflix and chill, but like actually, just chill.  
> well.... i mean its MOSTLY 'just chill'  
> :^)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OHH MY GOODNESs thank you SOSSOSOOSO much for getting this fic over 1,000 reads???thats amazing???????I love you so much???????????? all your positive feedback makes me so incredibly happy u don't even know!! Thank you so much, all your comments and kudos help me out IMMENSELY, and I really really really hope you know how much I appreciate this!
> 
> Theres?? borderline sin in this??its not really anything but i suppose it counts idk, its honestly just a lot of fluff and some sexual tension but yep, this is going under my list of favorite chapters to write, so I hope you like it as much as I do !!

Josh felt the couch dip slightly beside him and he looked over, finding a faux-leather-camo-jacket clad Tyler next to him.

“I didn’t mean put it on _now_ ,” he snickered, though the jacket fit him so perfectly in all the right places and Josh was really trying his best not to stare.

“Oh,” said Tyler, and he began to pull off the hoodie. Josh swallowed and tore his eyes away.  
“So.. x-files, right?” Josh opened Netflix and began to flip through the options. Tyler stopped him, however, when he noticed something he recognized, probably in passing through the living room while his step-dad lounged in front of the TV with a beer in hand.

“Is that ‘Stranger Things’?”

Josh felt a grin spread through his cheeks and he selected the cover art. “You wanna see this instead? It’s so good, I’d even compare it to X-files. X-files is still better though. Obviously. But this is a really close second.”

“I’ve never seen anything on Netflix before,” Tyler murmured, more to himself than to Josh.

“This is a good one, trust me.” Josh pressed ‘play’ and leaned over to grab some throw blankets. While Josh had been flipping through shows, Tyler had used the jacket as a makeshift blanket, his knees up by his chest.

“You cold?” Josh held out a particularly soft throw. Tyler took one glance at it and shook his head, but at the same time shivered so violently, the jacket slipped from its position.

Josh gave him a look and placed the blanket over Tyler, tucking in the edges around his body. Tyler kept his focus on the show, doing his best not to move. Josh was..so close. He could feel his body heat. It felt weird whenever they touched. Not a bad weird, just…different. Good.

As soon as Josh was confident that he had set Tyler on the path to warmth, he moved away, leaning on the back of the couch on the opposite side. Tyler was almost disappointed to feel him leave his side. They stayed that way, the pilot of ‘Stranger Things’ keeping them engaged, until somewhere near the middle of the episode, Tyler shifted. “Half the blanket ’s on the floor,” he pointed out quietly.

Josh looked over. The throw was indeed, covering more of the floor than it was Tyler. Tyler however, remained completely covered. The blanket was just really damn huge. Or maybe Tyler was just really damn tiny. Josh tried not to smile. 

From his lonely position on the other side of the couch, Tyler thought Josh must be just as cold as he was. Wouldn’t it be practical to..huddle? For warmth? Definitely not cuddle. No cuddling cause that would be gay. Definitely not because Tyler was really starting to notice how attractive Josh was. Definitely not because every time Josh smiled at him, Tyler felt like there was a forest fire of heat in his chest. Not to mention in his—

Before Josh could pick up the excess fabric and bury Tyler in warmth, the latter spoke, almost too quiet for Josh to hear. “You should use the other half.”

“Hmm?” Josh knew perfectly well what Tyler had said, but his throat had suddenly gone too tight for words.

“Um, you could, um, use the other half …ifyouwantedto,” Tyler rushed.

“Oh- right.” Josh internally slapped himself. “Okay.”

This time it was Tyler who leaned to pick up the blanket, placing it over Josh’s legs. They were forced to sit within inches of each other, not that either of them really minded.

The two stayed there, both painfully aware of the proximity of one another until the show dropped a dramatic point and they were distracted. It didn’t feel like long before the credits flashed onscreen and Josh came back to reality. He definitely wasn't cold anymore.

He pressed a button, and the TV set turned off. Tyler was still there, beside him and—

Josh blinked.

Something in the atmosphere completely changed as they became fully aware of their position. Tyler had snuggled straight up to Josh, head tucked under that colorfully tattooed arm. Josh immediately stopped running his fingers over Tyler’s shoulder. His face heated up so fast he felt his own pulse pounding in his temple. How long had that been going on?

For a moment, nothing could be heard but the ticking wall clock from the kitchen. Then— “I think I got startled,” Tyler whispered.

Josh nodded; that would explain why Tyler was huddled so close.

“Sorry,” he murmured, halfway into Josh’s chest, but neither of them moved.

“Tyler..” Josh shifted gently, and Tyler twisted his head to look up at him through his eyelashes. Now that Josh had a clear view of him, he realized their faces were mere inches apart. His stomach did a backflip. His life wasn't a movie. Nothing like this ever happened. Nothing like this should happen.

But it did happen. Something did, anyway.

Tyler blinked, eyes half closed already, and leaned upwards. Josh let his eyelids shut and shivers ran down his spine as he brushed his barely stubbly cheek against Tyler’s peach fuzzed chin. Tyler moved his head and his lips ghosted over the side of Josh’s face, pulling a delicate sigh from the latter. Instinctively, Josh’s hand shot up to cradle the back of Tyler’s unbelievably soft hair.

“I’m sorry, but you’re so beautiful, I just need you to know,” Josh breathed softly in Tyler’s ear; it was so rushed, but no sooner than the words were out of his mouth did Josh feel Tyler shudder against him, a noise working its way from deep in his throat.

Josh felt heat jolt in the pit of his stomach. This time he was the one who moved, trailing down from his ear to the top of his jawbone. Tyler exposed his neck, tilting back enough to allow Josh room to return the ghostly sort of kiss Tyler had given him moments ago. Neither of them had even completely touched, but it was enough to send the hairs on Tyler’s neck standing on end with electricity. He had no clue what he was feeling, but it was wonderful; he never wanted it to end.

Another soft whine wound around his vocal chords, and he could feel Josh’s lips part over his skin as he responded with a matching incoherent noise. Tyler could feel both Josh’s hands on either side of his head now, holding him there. The last time someone had their hands on him like this, Tyler couldn't breathe or move out of fear. Now, he couldn't do either of those things but it was accompanied with a feeling of something on the spectrum entirely opposite of fear.

Tyler’s hands found Josh’s waist and he wrapped around him in a sort of hug, pulling him closer. Because of this unexpected gesture, Josh quickly found himself centimeters from Tyler’s lips. They hovered, so close, so dangerously close to closing that minuscule distance, breath mingling.

Suddenly, it was all too real. This was happening. This was no longer any hormonal dream he might of had about this angel. Josh could kiss him, right now. Tyler’s hands were trembling from their position on Josh’s hips. He wasn’t afraid; this was just an feeling he had never experienced.

“Tyler,” Josh mumbled for the second time that day, and he watched as Tyler’s eyelashes separated to stare back up at him.

“Listen, baby,” he began, and barely got the words out before Tyler’s hand was fisting in Josh’s shirt as he moaned under his breath. For a moment Josh considered screwing it all and ridding Tyler of his shirt so he could cover every inch of him in kisses; he wanted to wind his fingers through that gorgeous hair, he wanted to tell him he loved him over and over, he wanted to see Tyler’s heavy lips parted in pleasure as Josh fucked him into the couch, he wanted it all, right now, and Tyler wasn't making it any easier.

_No; self control, Josh. He’s not ready. It’s not your place to even think of that right now._

Josh stifled a sigh, “we should, ah, we need to get you stuff for your room. Also, I still need to show you the dog rescue place, huh?”

Tyler immediately backed up.

“Is that okay? I mean, its been a little while so I wondered if you’d be up to going out now.” Josh glanced out the window, standing as he did so. “Hey, there really is leftover snow from last night, we could check that out too!”

Tyler felt himself force a smile. “Yeah, thats cool.” Had he done something wrong?

“Awesome!” Josh was grinning, and it was enough to put a genuine smile on Tyler’s face. “ _Now_ you need to wear the jacket.”

Tyler picked up the discarded hoodie Josh had lent him and followed him out to the car. Everything was happening so fast now; what happened to that slow, serene, Josh he had almost kissed barely a minute ago? Did Josh not want to kiss him? Maybe he just didn't like him?

His troubled thoughts were silenced, however, as he made his first step in the crunching snow. The air around him was frigid; his lungs recoiling at the feeling of tiny snowflakes being breathed in. It was rare that his step dad would let him out of the house, let alone the idea of letting little Tyler frolic around in the snow. “Men did not frolic.”

Tyler blinked, the shock of the cold making him gasp. It was beautiful. His eyes darted over to the thing standing out the most— Josh’s vibrant red hair contrasted against the bleak air around them.

“Cool, right?” Josh laughed lightly to himself, “sorry, I forget I need to keep myself in check with those puns..”

Tyler smiled, and shuffled through the snow to the passenger door of the car. He didn’t care if he looked like an eight year old; Josh was the only other person here, and Tyler felt himself trusting him more and more.

When Josh flipped on the radio to classic Christmas carols, Tyler laughed a little and sang ridiculously loud along with Josh. He finally realized what he was feeling. It was something he hadn’t felt about anyone since his birth mother and father. That warm tingling…it had to be love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :^)


	8. Tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tiny bit of fluff at the beginning but really this is utter filth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sin. many sin.
> 
>  
> 
> oh also this is 8 pages long on Pages and I think its the longest chapter on this fic so far, just a heads up,,
> 
> enjoy !

“Tyler, you _can’t_ name a dog Spot!”

“But _why?_ ” Tyler huffed, crossing his arms. Josh was being totally unreasonable.

“Its the most generic dog name ever! Seriously,” Josh couldn't stop giggling, “I don’t think you understand that half the fun is in naming your new pup.” He watched as Tyler crouched, grinning while the hyper dalmatian puppy bounced around his knees. Josh was melting.

Tyler put back on that “thinking face” Josh was beginning to recognize at this point, and hummed, “What about…Cow?”

“Cow?!” Josh doubled over in laughter. Tyler pouted.

“Dude, you haven't even _seen_ any of the other ones!” Tyler stood, eyes still on the puppy. The employee smiled and picked it up, gently helping it back in its cubby. Josh was right, they had literally barely stepped through the door before Tyler had made an excited noise and dashed straight to the first dog.

Happiness bubbled up in Josh’s chest as he watched Tyler move to the next cubby, a genuine smile on his face. There was no way it had only been yesterday that he’d bumped straight into Tyler at the mall. It felt like he’d known him for weeks, months, even. Josh was head over heels.

At this point, it’d be stupid to not assume Tyler at least liked him a little. Cause, like, he was the one who fucking _moaned_ into his chest only a few hours earlier. Josh shivered at the memory.

_Don’t get a boner right now, don’t get a boner right now, don’t get a boner, don’t._

Tyler gasped as the fluffy border collie baby attempted to lick his face, clearly very excited about life. Josh knelt down beside the pair and leaned forward to scratch it behind the ears. Tyler grunted as it scrambled out of his lap to Josh, who really wasn't appreciating literally any noise Tyler was making, unintentional as it may be.

The puppy suddenly leapt out of Josh’s arms and latched onto the edge of Tyler’s jeans, making him jump. The employee laughed and gently removed the dog, safely guiding it into its kennel. Tyler looked a bit disgruntled, which only make Josh smile.

A thought crossed Josh’s mind. “Hey, wanna grab dinner?” According to Tyler, this was his first time out of the house in months. There was a lot to take in; there was no way Josh was letting Tyler panic on his first real day back out.

Tyler nodded quickly, returning to Josh’s side. They left the shop, bell tinkling, (“have a nice day!” from the cashier,) and settled in the car.

“We can get a dog later,” Josh said after a moment.

Tyler felt bad. “I know you wanted one, I’m sorry I'm so jumpy—”

“Let me stop you right there,” Josh interrupted gently, “Tyler, I care about you a lot. That sounds unbelievably stupid when I say it, considering I've known you for all but a day, but getting a dog together is something I shouldn’t have even mentioned. Like, seriously,” He finished eloquently.

Tyler nodded again, eyes fixed on the dash. He still felt guilty, like he’d ruined Josh’s day or something. Josh sensed it, and looked down, trying to think of something to ease him.

“Hey, remember when I asked if I could buy you lunch?” Josh snorted, remembering how painfully awkward that had been.

“Yeah,” Tyler’s lips twitched into a smile.

“Well, I’m buying you food. Even if it’s dinner. For real this time.”

Tyler smirked. Oh _god_ that smirk. “What about, a, uh, cookie? Or something, I dunno, maybe a drink? Or uh, whatever, yknow..”

Josh groaned, placing his hands over his face. “ _Please_ tell me you’ll forget I ever said that,” he muttered, mortified.

“Never,” came the reply, and it was Tyler’s turn to blush at Josh’s groan and oh thank _god_ he had his hands over his face.

/ / / /

“That’s the dumbest joke I’ve ever heard,” Tyler shook the snow off his shoes and stepped through the doorway to Josh’s house. Was it their house now? Never mind that, Josh was giggling his stupid giggle, and Tyler had to focus way too much on not walking into the door.

“I told you, man, working in a place where you get a lot of kid customers brings the dad jokes out like crazy. Its kind of a curse, if I’m being honest.” Josh set the takeout on the kitchen table, subconsciously pulling out a chair for Tyler before heading to one of the drawers to get suitable plates.

Tyler blinked at the chair for a moment, then decided not to say anything. He sat and opened the bag from Taco Bell, setting aside Josh’s food from his own. Might as well be helpful.

“How.. how _did_ you get to live like this, by the way?” Tyler ventured, “I mean, you’ve got your own place and a car and.. you've bought me…really really cool stuff for my room, and you were prepared to get a dog today. But you tell dad jokes at Great American Cookies?”

Josh returned to the table with paper plates and refilled the napkin holder. “Oh. Yeah, I actually feel kinda guilty about it, but my parents really provide a lot for me. I don't know what I’d do without them.” He hesitated, “I actually wanted to play in a band for a while, I know, I know, typical teenage dream.” He stole a glance at Tyler, who was actually staring at Josh with interest, chewing on a taco. He continued, “I taught myself the drums a few summers ago, back in high school. Never found someone who wanted to play though. Everyone thought it was a stupid idea, especially at this point in time.”

They ate in silence for a while, then Tyler piped up, “Dad always hated it when I played ukulele. He had a grand piano he inherited from his parents, but I only played it when he was gone from the house,” he paused, “so yeah, I taught myself the piano; I know what it feels like to not find anyone who will teach you.”

They were both thinking it, but no one mentioned aloud the idea of playing music together. Neither wanted to mess things up, neither of them wanted to suggest something that would require commitment. Yet both were hung up on the thought of committing. Their minds were burning, especially Josh, he just _had_ to know…

He stood, gathering Tyler’s trash and his own before he could protest, and quickly returned to the table. Josh took a breath, then stopped himself.

“Hang on, this feels way too formal, lets go sit…” Josh shook his head, laughing a little, but his stomach was in knots. He was the first to reach the living room, jumping and slapping his hand on the top of the archway for good measure. He would make damn sure things weren’t awkward this time. Tyler snorted in amusement at the gesture, and watched Josh flop on the couch. Tyler’s legs had barely even touched the couch before Josh sat up straight and blurted out at high speed— 

“Tyler, I’m think you’re really attractive and we should totally date.”

There was a heartbeat of silence, and Tyler hardly had time to let his mouth open even a little, and there was a loud _slap_ of Josh clapping his hand over his mouth. “ _Holyshit,_ ” he mumbled though his fingers, and he was running, running away from his responsibilities, his life, everything, he just had to get away because who the _**actual fuck says shit like that its time to go write a novel called WhatTheActualFuckJoshua (tm) because obviously you have so little self control that the entire world deserves to know your inability to communicate with attractive humans.**_

He couldn't hear Tyler calling after him through the blood rushing in his ears; he was positive his face was so hot it could fuel the fires of hell right now. Tyler ran after Josh, chased him to his bedroom, but the door was shut in his face and he was too late. It wasn't clear who’s heart was pounding harder; Josh’s or Tyler’s.

“Josh!” He shouted; even going as far as to knock a little. (The audacity!) “Josh, please!” There was silence, and Tyler called his name a few more times before stepping back, situating himself so that he stood directly facing the front of the door. He would wait.

Minutes passed. Still silence.

Tyler was beginning to get anxious, maybe Josh didn’t want to see him.

He shook his head. No, this would be the only way to find out—

The door opened. Tyler jumped a little, but in the same movement he was grabbing Josh’s t-shirt and pulling so hard that the force of the kiss was almost enough to knock them to the ground. Luckily there was the hallway behind, and they stumbled backwards until Tyler hit the wall.

Josh’s eyes were open. They were so fucking open. He couldn't breathe, or think. His ears were ringing again. He could count Tyler’s freckles. He felt lips stutter against his own, hesitation beginning to come in waves off of Tyler.

Oh.

They were kissing.

Right.

Josh parted about half an inch from Tyler to breathe before he was smashing back against him, drawn as if by a magnet. He brought his hands up to Tyler’s face, one on either side. Tyler’s fingers found their way to Josh’s waist, tugging him closer. Josh had to slam a palm into the wall to keep himself from crushing Tyler.

“Oh my _god_ , princess..”

Tyler groaned quietly, allowing Josh to snake his tongue into his mouth, earning another breathy moan.

“You like it when I call you that?” Josh was lightheaded. Tyler gave a pathetic sort of whine in reply. “Hm?” Josh queried, and Tyler was _really_ glad he decided to kiss Josh.

“Yeah,” he whispered, embarrassed. Josh was running though their past experience together. He had really reacted when Josh touched his hair.. Slowly, almost careful, Josh reached up and ran his fingers though Tyler’s gorgeous hair, rubbing it the wrong way. Immediately, Tyler was moving his head back with the movement, eyes shut as his jaw dropped slightly. Josh kissed him again, and felt Tyler’s head hit the wall with a soft thud. Noticing his opportunity, he fisted his hand in the tufts of brown and kissed along his jawline. Tyler’s eyebrows were knitted at this point, and he was gasping softly every few seconds.

“So, so beautiful,” Josh murmured, ghosting his lips over his neck-to-shoulder joint. Tyler shuddered. He felt helpless under Josh’s touch, but it was comforting to feel limp under hands that showed him love instead of hate.

Deciding to take matters into his own hands again, Tyler let his hands drop to Josh’s hips, rubbing up and down on his t-shirt until Josh was suddenly nibbling at his ear, _holy shit_ , and whoops, his hands unintentionally slipped right under the hem of Josh’s shirt but _hey at least this was where he wanted to end up eventually._

Josh inhaled sharply at the contrast of Tyler’s icy hands against his warm body, but the new feeling was turning him on more than ever and.. and… _jesus christ, is that Tyler’s dick pressing against his thigh because **hoo boy where did that come from?**_

Tyler was blushing like mad, he honestly had no clue what he was doing, all he knew was that he wanted Josh’s body against his own, and the first step to that was  
to— 

Josh kissed him again, taking Tyler’s breath away. He broke off only for a split second to pull his shirt over his head.

—Yeah. That.

“Can I—” Josh panted against Tyler’s cheek, tugging gently at the hem of his shirt. Tyler was nodding before Josh could finish, and in a matter of seconds his shirt joined Josh’s on the hallway floor. Josh advanced on him again, this time their torsos were pressed together and Josh wanted to cry at the feeling of Tyler’s body against his own. He was thin but mildly muscular, a tattoo visible on each of his pecs. Just above his v line, his tan faded into his natural skin tone so well that Josh’s breath caught when he realized Tyler was naturally this golden.

“Gorgeous, so pretty, so perfect,” Josh garbled, winding his fingers though his hair again. Tyler whined, high and long, making Josh’s dick twitch.

“Feels..feels so nice, so good…” Tyler panted, head still slack against the wall. Josh gave a short laugh.

“We haven’t even gotten to the best part, princess,”

Tyler groaned softly at the pet name, but wondered aloud, “how does this get better?”

Josh broke away from him like he’d been electrocuted. “You—you’ve never..?” Tyler stared at him blankly, briefly wondering if he’d done something wrong again.

“Oh,” Josh stared back, shocked, then laughed a little. “Honey..”

Tyler was still blank.

Josh blinked. “Tyler, I can’t just…you know what sex is, right?”

Tyler looked mildly offended. “Of course I do!”

“Then you know what.. what an orgasm is, right?”

Tyler looked less offended, but still tried to appear confident. “Y-Yes, of course.” Josh gave him a look. Tyler swallowed. “I mean, yes, I know what it is, and what goes on, I just…” He looked down, almost shamefully. “I—I’ve never..never had one myself.”

Josh’s lips parted in astonishment. “Then what the hell do you do about these?” He gestured at Tyler’s crotch, making him blush harder.

“…Wait them out? I dunno, they don't happen very often..”

Josh was dumbfounded. _He’s never cummed? No fucking way.._ His second thought was somewhere along the lines of _“Holy shit I can give him his first orgasm?!”_

Josh decided to keep focused on that second thought. “Can I take your pants off?” _Wow. A real love song, Josh, nice._

“Wait.” Tyler stopped Josh right in his tracks. “Are you gonna…are we gonna..”

Josh was shocked and amused. “What? Oh, no, definitely not. You’ve never even experienced this; trust me, you are not ready to have a dick up your butt.” Tyler looked a little grossed out but pushed out a laugh anyway. “Sorry,” Josh added, reddening. “Just, trust me, okay? This’ll feel good.”

Tyler nodded, despite his nerves. Josh didn't waste any time. He knelt, and Tyler’s jeans were shoved down to his ankles, leaving just the bulge right in Josh’s face. Tyler looked away, cheeks flushed heavily.

“Tyler..hey, I need to be positive that you’re okay with me doing this,” Josh stood back up and gently turned Tyler’s head to face his own. He was suddenly trembling. Josh firmly kissed him, and Tyler could practically feel his unease ebbing away through the contact.

“Just let me know what you want, we can stop right now if you need,” Josh whispered, but Tyler steeled himself. He slitted his eyelids, looking straight at Josh to make sure his message was clear despite his heaving chest.

“I want you to make me feel things I’ve never felt before.”

That was all it took, Josh was kneeling again, hands fitting perfectly over Tyler’s bony hips. The first thing he did was mouth over Tyler’s cock through the fabric, immediately drawing out a sharp gasp from above. He kissed at random spots all around his crotch, each time feeling Tyler stiffen and loosen with a soft “ah” to accompany the movements. It wasn't long before Josh felt wetness against his lips other than his own saliva.

“Gonna make you feel so good, baby,” Josh hooked his fingers in the underwear and pulled them down, revealing his prize. Tyler could feel the blood rushing though his face again, and he had to look away.

The sound of Josh spitting drew his attention back, however, and he watched Josh slick up his palm _with his own saliva, oh my god, was he gonna—_

Tyler make a choking noise and his head fell forward as he witnessed Josh gently tug on his dick a few times. He wanted to look away oh-so badly, but it was damn near impossible. The sight was mesmerizing to Tyler; Josh studying his body with such genuine interest, his hand moving up and down and— _**oh** that little twist thing he was doing as he moved down was driving Tyler insane.._

He definitely wasn't prepared when Josh dipped his head and _**holyfuckingchrist,**_ his dick was inside Josh’s mouth. It didn’t even occur to Tyler what was happening, not even as he literally watched it happen. He just sort of stood there, mouth agape. It wasn't until Josh fucking _swallowed_ around his cock that Tyler felt it, he felt it all, it washed over him so fast and his lips trembled, eyes shut tight as his knees failed to support his weight.

“O- _Oh!_ ” He tried to hold his position, scrabbling for any sort of purchase at Josh’s shoulders, but instead Josh just pushed against his hips and held him upright. It was a really good thing there was a wall there for support. Josh didn’t miss a beat, he just kept bobbing, and something downright primal awoke inside Tyler. He wanted to fucking hump his face like a dog until god knows what would happen, but all Tyler knew was that it was necessary or he just might fucking die right then and there.

His hips involuntarily snapped forward and he immediately felt bad, doing everything he could to stop from hurting Josh. He didn’t seem to mind, however, the bastard literally _moaned_ around his member, and that was it. 

“ _Shhhhiit_ …” Josh stuttered in his rhythm upon hearing Tyler actually curse. His dick gave a painful jerk at the sound. Josh could tell he was close, the small muscle spasms and unbelievably loud groans were tell-tale signs. He was more ready for it than Tyler was, pulling off and milking him through his orgasm. Tyler was fisting his hand in those cotton-candy curls, the other hand covering his mouth. He couldn't keep his eyes open, his body convulsing; he saw stars and for a moment he knew nothing but pure euphoria.

When Tyler opened his eyes, Josh was sitting back on his heels, smirking up at Tyler. He felt something wet trickle down his cheek and realized he was crying. He swiped at the tear just before his legs officially gave out and he was sliding down the wall, absolutely spent. He watched through heavily lidded eyes as Josh studied the milky substance left on his fingers, then fucking _licked every one of them clean._ Tyler groaned as his dick gave a weak twitch, head falling against the wall again.

Josh turned to go finish himself off in the bathroom, when a hand wrapped around his wrist, pulling him back.

“I think I know how to help with that now,” Tyler murmured, pupils somehow still blown.

“Tyler…”

No sooner than Tyler had wrapped his hand around his member and given it two (maybe three at most,) pumps, Josh yelled out Tyler’s name, coming so hard his vision flashed white behind his eyes.

Josh fell against Tyler, quivering as he grabbed his own dick and gave it a few tugs to work himself through the after-shocks.Tyler looked down at his hand, barely giving a second thought before he mimicked Josh’s gesture from earlier and brought a curious tongue to his fingers.

“Oh god, _Tyler_ , you don't know what you do to me,” Josh murmured, still hazy from his orgasm. “We..we should clean up…” They were both panting like they had run a marathon, sporting the sweat to match. “I’ve only got one shower,” Josh added, hoping Tyler would get the hint and join.

Tyler seemed to, in fact, take the hint, and pulled himself to his feet. He kicked off his pants the rest of the way and walked straight to Josh’s bathroom. “Last one there has to get a dick up their butt,” he said casually.

Josh watched Tyler’s hips sway a moment longer before scrambling after him. He wasn’t entirely sure he wasn't still dreaming, but something told him that from now on things were gonna be different.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eeeeeeeyyyyy they finally kissed not to mention,, did the do amirite ladies ;^)))) I'm so sorry I sat down to write and I ended up going for 4 hours straight its currently 3:30 AM and I'm gonna post this tomorrow morning anyway but I'm drafting for now WOW I'm not making sense..
> 
> Anyways?? I just wanted to let u know I start school tomorrow (the day after this goes up) so thought I'd get one more update in before I battle the onslaught of suffering.. I promise to work on this any lil chance I get, so fingers crossed I'll make it though the first week still alive and come out with another chapter!
> 
> Again, I'm gonna apologize for any shitty writing, as I said, I've been at it for the past 4 hours and its v early in the morning; I didn't take time to really edit either ,,all this besides the fact I'm inexperienced at Sin Stuff so forgive me my frens it'll probably be better in the future !! For now, I hope you've enjoyed this fic so far as much as I have writing it, and lets prAY that school doesn't murder me! woo! 
> 
> thanks for ur support and i luv u <3 <3


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